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To Shade or Not to Shade

As a professional Shadeologist (not to be confused with cloud coverage and shade sails) with a PhD in Comparative Pettiology, I can safely say that most people have thrown shade at someone in some point of their lives.

Getting straight to the point, when I’m online, now and again I throw a bit of shade at multiple people. Most times, I will toss out a random general statement and let folks assume it’s about them because it’s very easy to do so when majority of people in my small community fit several descriptions. Ie. Anything about single-parenthood, pregnancies, the dead, events, shootings, and employment. For instance, If I write “She’s always talking about her baby daddy,” I can name at least 10 people who will get offended thinking it’s for them, when I’m really just being–for lack of a better term–an asshole. Now, I can always use my platform to spread joy and peace and all that jazz, but I do what I please. And I’ve shaded everyone–Every body–on my page at least once. My page, is an equal opportunity page. You get it all.

On my Facebook timeline I always see shade. In fact, I don’t think the sun even has a presence over there because it’s always overcast. The hilarious part is when the “Greater than thou” folks shade people for throwing shade in attempt to make themselves look good for not throwing shade. Yes. That happens.

Moving along, I have no problems with people behaving this way. In fact, I’m all for it. Get what you want to say off your chest. The beauty of it is that it’s suppose to be indirect and truly, unless you’re absolutely guilty, there should be no problems.

 

I have seen so many posts that I know are about me and continued about my day. Sometimes I might just toss some shade back childishly.  I have also seen posts that I “thought” may have been about me, but then I have to remind myself “Why would I want to claim a negative post?”

Also, DO NOT MESSAGE ME ABOUT SHADE. Especially if you’re not in my friendlist. Facebook filters out non-friends so I’m probably not going to see it until whenever I decide to open that box and I rarely do. Hell, I’ve stopped. If you’re in there, tough luck. Last I checked, I had 106 message requests and oh. well.

You never see people react when you post “I have so many beautiful women on my page,” but if you sprinkle some shade, folks pop out to claim it.

That shade is for me!

That shade is for me!

Anyways, with that being said, I threw some shade today and it was friendly shade.

One of my Facebook friends hates her damn baby-daddy and the guy isn’t even here anymore (He passed away). There is a post floating around on Facebook with this girl talking about how real mothers “bossed up” and don’t talk about “ain’t shit baby daddies.” Now I click on the actual photo and scroll through the comments like I always do (the comments are always priceless) and spot home-girl in there. Now I’m confused because you can’t be a deadbeat if you’re literally dead! So I throw four word shade and left it there because without a doubt, two seconds she done text me to curse me out and we had a nice little chat about letting things go.

Here’s the issue. The thing about living in the VI is that the community is small. It’s stupid tiny. And again, on the topics folks share in common is “death.” So a simple post like “Well he’s dead so,” led to not one, but FOUR whole people coming after me about who I was talking about, because I’m suppose to be psychic and know that all of them had a death. I got folks mad at me because their deceased person is in the obituary for the paper. I don’t even read the damn obituary. Facebook IS the obituary.

And it’s always me. I don’t even understand why at this point. I don’t bother folks when they throw their shade, but for some reason folks always in my face about mine. I don’t even see them go after folks who are obviously shading them. I don’t ask who they’re talking about. I don’t try to find out if it’s about me. I don’t try to find out if it’s about a friend of mine. Hell, sometimes I even laugh if it’s funny because the whole glory of the damn thing is the indirect aspect. Even if it IS for you, just throw some shit back and keep it moving. Why the hell are you trying to make something out of nothing? Better yet, if it bothers your so much, BLOCK them. You want to argue. You want to fight. Why?

Now, I have to wonder if “To shade or not to shade?” Do we just get to the point and just drop names to make sure no one else gets confused? Or do we just let people continue to assume that things that aren’t about them are for them?

No. The option to “Just stop talking about people,” isn’t included. Why? It’s almost impossible. You might think you aren’t doing it, which I find absolutely cute, but you do. Yes, talking about celebrities and politicians count boo. It all counts.

And while we are here, you know what to do if you don’t like what I post on my page or if you find me annoying.

 

This episode has been brought to you by Facebook, Finding Nemo, and Real Housewives. The word of the day is :SHADE:

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About Local Lady Media (71 Articles)
Local Lady Media is an entertainment and humor blog covering everything from local and pop culture, from TV, and movies, to life's random adventures through the eyes of local Virgin Islands eccentric Judgey Johannes--self-crowned Miss Media 2016 to life--who has an appetite for providing commentary on shenanigans because there is no shortage of foolishness/interesting things in the world.

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