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The importance of Self-love

How many times have you seen a post on this topic? I’m guessing, a lot, but that’s good because it’s something that needs to be repeated.

(This post is for women, so if you’re a man reading this and get upset at the bottom, sorry not sorry).

Dear ladies, we live in a world full of impossible, unhealthy beauty standards, and judgey-ass folks that read one issue of Fashion magazine while eating a croissant and suddenly they know how you’re suppose look, walk, and talk.

Where your face needs to be beat to the gods or look natural (via makeup but not too much makeup, just enough makeup to make it look like you’re not wearing makeup), but not completely natural because in this world you have to look like you but not too much like you.

Got it?

Wait what huh wah but eh?

Where your hair has to be natural, but only if it looks a specific kind of natural–else you gotta comb it..even though it is–or you need to have a bomb ass weave because anything less than is unacceptable…but it can’t be too weavy because, you know, weave is unacceptable.

Then you have to make sure you love your body and you can be a big girl, or a skinny girl, or an average girl and we love all of you…if you are proportioned (see. hour glass. Waist smaller than top and bottom).

Because let’s face it, the magazines and the tv, and hell our peers tell us you should love yourself and be the best you you can be…but not quite like that.

what in the mixed signal messery hell is this

And all those mixed messages really mess with you after a while. Like you take a selfie but you want as much sunlight in it to lighten your features, then you have to take it at this angle because you anything less can’t grace your Instagram, then you blur the photo to hide whatever issues you may have. It’s too much. And hell I do it too. And I had to ask myself am I doing the absolute most for me, or because when I post this I don’t want to be ridiculed (ie. doing it for the folks who are going to see it).

Hell at this point sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing it for. Do you know? Do any of us know? Like it feels like you’re doing it for yourself and you say so, but then you gotta stop and ask yourself would I really care about this if only I were around?

And ladies, I don’t mean doing it for the approval men because we all know they don’t even know who Anastasia is and why she’s important, and according to them they hate makeup and all these things…then turn around and love women with all of those things.

I’m not a guy, so sorry fellas for not being to able touch on what issues you all might have, though if we’re being realistic men set the standard and there is so much irony in what you have to deal with. Like women not wanting to date “less than” men, because yall (Cue “not all” so save me the lecture) made it that if a really gorgeous woman is dating someone that looks less than her, she either has low standards or she’s after his money so it deters her from, you know, picking him. Yet, if she only dates men her set standard or above, she’s shallow, again, according to yall. And women just picked up your cues and followed them and now you’re mad at us (Again, the not all) for following your rules. Funny how that works.

But I digress.

With all this being said, that’s why it’s so important to live for yourself and not listen to the gibberish of others because you’ll never win with them. You’ll always either be doing too much or too little for them.

You gotta focus on how you’re living makes you happy. Man, be selfish with yourself.

Can’t please everybody, so you might as well please the one person who matters: You.




  1. Beautifully worded. Loving myself was one of the hardest things I had to learn how to do after being self destructive for many years. I’m healthy now and I’m happy I got over that toxic slump.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so glad to hear! I was the same up until probably 4 years ago so this is still new for me. Still, I notice the difference in loving yourself. You feel better and it shows! I hope everyone gets to that point. It’s a wonderful thing.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well said! The hypocrisy of “their standards.” I agree totally with you- author. The men babble about how they love women being natural- yet they all turn around and fall for those that masterfully apply “makeup” that might even give them a different look altogether.
    Trying to please anyone or everyone is a waste of time. I please myself, put on what I like and comfortable in, what anyone else thinks is his/her business. Why should I care, exactly?

    Liked by 1 person

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