I’ma try to make this as short as possible. I don’t know about white women, but I know for black women at least about 500 times in your lifetime you’ve been called a “queen” or an “empress” by some dude with a fake name along the lines of Ricki-ticki-tavi King Solomon II who’s in touch with his Ancient Nubian roots, when his name is really Gerarhd Lincoln from the upstairs floor of some project in your neighborhood and the closest he’s been to Africa or his roots is the neighborhood rasta man who won’t even let him use google for fact checking because “the white man.”
Now, while there is nothing wrong with being in touch with your roots, or the neighborhood rasta man, there’s a lot of toxicity in the thinking of people like Ricki Ticki. See, for them, you’re an empress and queen right up until you show them that you’re not some submissive, yes woman that will call him king even when he’s doing absolutely nothing deserving of that term except make demands of you.
I love black men. Really, yall the shit. But this set of you, I can put you on a boat and burn it and yall won’t be missed because you don’t bring nothing but trouble.
These men, will only uplift a certain type of woman. A docile woman. A woman that adheres to respectability politics in all forms and she has to always be on his side. ALWAYS. You can be a degree holding, CEO, married, neighborhood volunteer, charitable woman, but if you tell this man he’s wrong, you’re a low level parasite and not a queen at all. Women aren’t people to these men. They’re items.
For these men, queen is not a compliment. It’s a contract. It comes with terms and agreements and fine prints that even they can’t read but they want you to follow and it can and will change at their leisure. So you’re his queen today until you tell him that you don’t want to put in locks and join the Nyabingi chapter of the Yahushua church behind of Uncle Pookie’s house.
Living in the Caribbean, I see these type of men daily. I get messages from them daily. They are in my inbox all day telling me how much of an empress I am and essentially worshiping the ground I walk on. These men come equipped with shit tons of African paraphernalia (Africa, they can’t tell you where specially. They refer to Africa like it’s a country and not a continent) while quoting specific scriptures from the bible and oppressing both women, homosexuals, black men that do not subscribe to their thought process and carry a strong hatred for white people and science. So essentially, they hate everyone except for themselves.
So while “queen” and “empress” may be flattering under the right circumstance, 9 times out of 10 it’s coming out of the mouth of someone whose only interest is making you a silent trophy.
Also, let’s talk about kings and queens. While the notion that black folk are all kings and queens (as long as you’re the type that the hoteps approve) is cute, it doesn’t work like that. Kings have empires while you’re wearing rent-a-jordans from the trunk of your boy’s 1997 Honda.
Listen. I’m not with it.
I can do this all day but look I said I was going to make this short.
Not to mention, we can’t ALL be kings and queens. That’s not how kingdoms work. If you have a king or queen then the rest of us were your servants and servant life wasn’t all peaches and cream.
I love the Prince of Egypt but did yall miss the beginning of the damn movie where folks were being whipped and shit and Seti was feeding babies to friggin alligators in a glorious lace front and dramatic eyeliner? Were we just asleep during the whole thing and only saw the “Oh look a black king and queen.”
Nah, FEW of us were kings and queens. Few! And royal life wasn’t always lit either. Check the history on how kings and queen typically lose the throne–that stays in the family unless they all die so no boo you can’t just grow up to be royal. Most of those folks were murdered. Frankly, being beheaded doesn’t sound like fun.
You can keep this whole queen and empress thing love. I’m not here for it. If being called that makes me “Woke” play some Chris Brown and don’t wake me up.
(I’ll probably do a less joking post on this later, but your girls it’s midnight and I am tired).