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Series: Facebook, Fake Care, and Fake People – Pt 2

Another day of me not minding my business.

So it’s a crisp Friday afternoon in September. The 15th to be exact. Hurricane No Way Jose just lashed at us with his tail because he ain’t shit and instead of disappearing he decides to sing despacito on the ocean. He is moving SLOWLY.

So you know bad weather creates bad decisions.

Like…say…hacking your boyfriend’s facebook page and letting us know that he has hella hoes.

Yall know me. I’m in the cut like…


Briss gang, whole lotta peep shit

Ole girl is mad cuz, we gonna call dude Luigi, ain’t as loyal as she thought he was and instead of taking her loss (AKA “L”) in silence, she decides to send out a PSA via his page.

See, now Facebook gonna be like the iPhone X and yall gonna need facial recognition to log into your damn account.

But anyways.

Naturally, she gets folks who feel bad for her, poor baby, and you get folks like, well, me who wonder “Girl why you putting your business out there like that?”

Man, she gets mad as shit cuz someone shared the status…that she wrote…that she “wanted his hoes to see.” I guess Facebook was gonna filter it so only his hoes would see and the rest of us non-hoes would be Stevie Wonder to the bullshit.

Crazy Shit

Yall. So she swears she’s not mad, and that she doesn’t give a shit, so you know what she does?

Crazy Shit pt 2

So not only is girlfriend not mad, but she’s so “not mad” that she messaged the person who shared the stat to ask them if they have a problem and then…and then…suggests that the person is actually the mad one for sharing her rather pissed off hacker status about her ain’t shit community peen.

AND. AND. She’s so not mad that she’s threatening to shoot folks. Woo lawd.

PS. Judgey is me. I was hella Confused. Girl, WE’RE mad? We weren’t the one getting played like a deck of Uno when the power is out thanks to a storm.

At least go into the weekend without embarrassing yourself in an attempt to embarrass your infidel dick appointments. You know what you could have been doing instead of playing “Hey Barbara this is Shirley Facebook Edition?” You could have been out there with hella hoes yourself girl.

You got the game all wrong sis.




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