Crucian Christmas Festival has come and gone, and although my parade body was still in transit—it got lost in Puerto Rico—I still had the best time ever in the Simply Sophisticated Fun Troupe as they celebrated their 10th Anniversary.
Shamari Haynes is a Carnival Connoisseur, A First-Class Festival Feteran, The Maestro of Mas, we can do this all day. What I’m saying is, he went above and beyond for his tenth year, grooming what started out as a little high school troupe, into what is now the territory’s largest, most anticipated festival troupe.
And I’m so glad I got to share that experience with the SSFT family.
My first festival experience was also with SSFT. Naturally, for the tenth, I wanted to be part of it. I saved my coins and even joined one of the front sections—something I never do because your girl cannot dance and likes to be in the back.
Invictus Reign, my section, was a gorgeous madras section, that meshed perfectly into a breath-taking example of VI culture and sensuality. It was sexy dammit. I didn’t even know madras could be sexy. Leave it to Shamari and his amazing designer Gianna “Regal” Christopher of Deigns by Regal, to somehow make that happen. The design was actually a remake of the troupe’s very first costume when they debuted.
I can’t forget, Whitly Charles is the mastermind behind the graphics that also sell the troupe. She’s amazing. Go get you some art.
With 300 plus members on the road despite Hurricanes Irma and Maria’s nonsense, it was sight to behold.
AND the troupe had eight sections, two bands–Fusion Band and BDJ–and a bar. All made on St. Croix. Because Mas. Because Fete. Because that’s what you get when you join the Better Carnival Experience.
I could go on about the rest of the troupe, but then we’d be here all day and yall are going to get tired of me.
So, Saturday arrives, and your girl is ready. I’m pumped. My skin is clear from all that water and moisturizer—no foundation needed here boo. I’m a bald baddie because I don’t want hair getting in my face (or falling on the floor like someone’s did. Yikes. Sister, you ain’t had no got-2-be glue?) My breasts looked amazing too. I don’t know what magic was in that bra, but I need it daily.
I arrived to our meeting place at 9 a.m. after a flat tire. Shout out to the good-up body, fine ass man that not only put on my spare but paid for me to get a tire. I’m in love, he don’t even know it. Reliability is sexy.
The adult section of the parade, however, didn’t start until damn near 1 p.m.—because Crucian Time is a real and dreadful thing.
We later hit the road with some serious synchronization, but then it started to rain. I lost my keys. My feet were burning. I might have been ling tipsy.
When things finally got back on track, I had so much gotdamn fun. I actually danced. Man, woman, it didn’t matter. We were one big jubilant family on the roads of Frederiksted.
Mr. Sexy pulled a dominance move on me and my back and legs ache in good ways that I want to try elsewhere. Let me lick your chocolaty, island abs boo.
Fast forward, it rains some more, but rain doesn’t stop the fete—NEHVA EHVA—We do our routine, pwile some more, pelt some waist, shove back some batty, and wrap it all up.
I’M DOING IT AGAIN NEXT YEAR.
I’ve made up my mind that I’m not joining any other troupe. I like reliability, security, and comfort. All that comes in a professional package with SSFT. Can it come with the other troupes? Possibly, but I’m not taking that chance. I’m here to stay.
See yall then!