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Love and Facebook pt. 3

It’s another riveting episode of Love and Facebook VI.  So, yall know how this goes, it’s another day of me not minding my business on Le Book, but I made a boo-boo this time. I commented. Yall, who sent me. But let’s get into the nitty-gritty of this short post.

It’s Monday, so you already know what that means–people are pissed. Folks don’t like Mondays and Mondays are unnecessarily long. In fact, our hate for Mondays extends to Mondays S Plus, formerly known as Tuesday. Ain’t nobody really happy on a Monday, so when folks are angry on a Monday you just get it, and you let them be.

Several folks were not thrilled today, but these folks weren’t on my friend’s list. See, the Virgin Islands is so small, everybody has mutual friends all over and you definitely feel it in the app.

So these people who I don’t know from Adam were in the middle of Verbal Fisticuffs. I peeped, I wowed, I moved on because at the time I could only see one half of the drama. I got a job, you know, so I wasn’t going to investigate high day when I had coins to make. These bills aren’t going to pay themselves after all and from the sounds of the post, folks couldn’t pay those bills for me either.

Now, fast-forward, it’s later in the day, work is over and I’m thinking about cooking or doing squats and going to bed…because I’m not doing both obviously.

Low and behold, one of the mutual friends comment on this post and it pops up on my feed. Sis in the stat is livid, and I see more than 10 comments. More than 10 comments mean something went down. So, naturally, I peep. Then I figured it out. Ole girl was talking about sis from earlier!

I’m in those comments reading, then going back and forth between pages–The proper way to peep is on a laptop because you can see both pages at the same damn time woo!–and the tea is too much.

It’s hot. Folks may or may not have kids outside their marriage. Folks being pressed about people for 10 years–a decade is a long time to hold a grudge. Damn. We got folks with no degrees. They got wide holes. Someone’s man is being preyed on. Folks need to google child support documents. People messaging men in Jail–WHY HE GOT A PHONE? THAT’S CONTRABAND. People look like mampi and corpse. Bisexual Parrots.

It’s not even hot no more. It’s scalding.

But I still don’t know who these people are so I don’t know what’s valid from what’s not. All I know is that there is a lot going on. Friends agreeing with friends. People with mutual hatred bonding. You know what I mean. You ever notice how folks just form a kumbayah circle when the other person is someone yall both don’t like? It’s crazy.

The most comical part about Facebook beef is how people who don’t like you wait until someone else says something to jump out the bushes.

This you sis.

You got your own page lol why do you need an entourage? Where did your burst of bravery come from?

But anyway, I’m playing catch up because it’s been five hours you know? The tea expires at midnight. I’m not going to care about this shit tomorrow. I’m curious right now. It’s like reading a book. No. It’s like watching a poorly scripted movie and even though you should stop because it’s really bad, you’ve already paid the guy at Kmart $5 for it so you have to watch it to the end.

Here’s where I mess up. I got too caught up in the film and this dude appears on both statuses. So, he’s not telling his friend to tag the girls she’s talking about, but he pops up to tell the girls she’s beefing with to tag her or they’re clowns. Now I’m at the part where you start screaming at the TV because the characters are doing stupid shit. Except, this isn’t TV so the characters can scream back.

My bad.

So I tell dude, yo, how you gonna call them a clown for not tagging but not tell your friend? Don’t that make her a clown too?

He doesn’t say shit. He just waves.

Then the would-be clown appears and she’s mad like I’m the one who told her her life wasn’t shit. Man, I wasn’t talking to you sis, I was talking to your friend for being a hypocrite. This ain’t even about you. I’m trying to reason with dude cuz he’s actually on my friend’s list. We’re having a conversation. Now you’re just being rude.


Girl bye


She says some irrelevant shit, and I’m just like girl what even is going on here. Your beef ain’t with me, and you aren’t taller than me so I can’t argue with you.

And all I got out of this was that I now know dude’s government name and I can’t even look at his profile the same.

But that’s how my Monday went. And all I can say is, man When does February Start? We’ve been in January for six months now.


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