All posts tagged: do better

Series: Facebook, Fake Care, and Fake People – Pt 2

Another day of me not minding my business. So it’s a crisp Friday afternoon in September. The 15th to be exact. Hurricane No Way Jose just lashed at us with his tail because he ain’t shit and instead of disappearing he decides to sing despacito on the ocean. He is moving SLOWLY. So you know bad weather creates bad decisions. Like…say…hacking your boyfriend’s facebook page and letting us know that he has hella hoes. Advertisements

Open letter to a “pick me.”

Dear Pickmesha Jones, I don’t hope you’re having a blessed today. I hope your bonnet fell off when you were sleeping, and your hair rubbed against some cotton sheets, so your twist out looks like it went through electroshock therapy. If you’re not a fro-popping sister, I hope your wiry strands fall out at each brush stroke. May your edges require the help of baby jesus, but he doesn’t have time for your shenanigans nor your ashy-peen-itis. You may be wondering why I’m here today. I wonder too as you probably lack the ability to comprehend what this letter is meant to convey. But I’m being childish, and I’ll stop. In short, I’m here to save you from yourself. Sis, your “pick me” ass ways have to stop. This is a cease and desist letter. May you only need one to get it together. “Pick me?” You’re probably wondering what that means. It means that you wake up every day with a thirst for attention from the same misogynist piece of shits who will pass …